


My R: DenNor

by YubNub1020



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Heavy Angst, Hetalia, M/M, Nordics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25637488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YubNub1020/pseuds/YubNub1020
Summary: Follows the song "My R" but with a Hetalia twist.
Relationships: AmeFin, Dennor - Relationship, SuFin - Relationship, SweNor
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

WARNING!!!!!

This story involves triggering topics such as:  
Homophobia, bullying, suicide and depression  
There is also:  
Underage drinking and people cheating on their significant other 

Also all of these characters personalities have been altered for story purposes and Finland's name and gender have been changed for story purposes.  
This does not reflect how high school actually is. 

Thank you for reading :)


	2. The Beginning of The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you know, there's like, CW show levels of drama here <3

Do you ever just have those days where you want to lay in bed and cry all day? Or where you want to slide under the blanket and die? Me too. The only thing stopping me from doing this is the fact that I have to go to high school or more formally, living hell.  
Maybe high school wasn’t that bad for you or your mom or your best friend that ships personified foods. I’m not judging, you do what you want. Maybe you were able to find the love of your life or maybe you learned that your town was full of jerks who lived only to bully the ones that they found abnormal.  
If I’ve learned anything from the past 3 years I’ve been here, it’s that you eventually become numb to this kind of stuff. It just becomes whispers that ghost past your ears and fall on the ears of the impressionable. Except when the whispers are about you and you know that they’re a twisted version of the truth. Like the one about having a crush on the school’s token blond awkward jock. And the one about having kissed his ex-girlfriend at your junior prom on a dare. In my defense, the punch had been spiked.

But that’s not the point. It’s the first rumor that hurt the most. Maybe if I didn’t go to school in a little town where all of the homophobes lived. They knew about the fact that I liked guys, and they used that as a leverage point.

Freshman year had been decent, the average freshman experience. I joined a few clubs and made some new friends. Sophomore year, however, was when everything went to shit. Over the summer I went to a party, I had always been the person who gets invited to a ton of social events. The party’s host, Alfred, suggested that we play spin the bottle. I kept protesting, saying that I didn’t want to, but I was pulled in the circle by a random group of kids. I ended up kissing mainly guys.  
The guys kept pestering me; “Why would you do that?”

“You could have just ruined my reputation!”

And of course: “What are you? Gay or something like that?”

Looking back on it, I shouldn’t have answered them. But I did.

“So what if I am? Is there a problem with that?”

They all stared at me, eyes seemingly bulging out of their heads. They peeled their eyes off of me and whispered cautiously to each other. I stared at the floor, biting my tongue and fiddling with my fingers wondering what was going to happen. Alfred sent me the dirtiest look I’d seen in years and stood up. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled.

“Lukas is homo! He just forced us to kiss him even though most of us have girlfriends!”

I had no clue what was happening, there was too much going on. I could make out whose voice was whose. Everything was blurry. I could barely hear people laughing over the pounding in my head as I stood up. I pushed past the crowds of people who had come to see what the commotion was. The tears had started falling now. They slipped out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

I saw the door. I sprinted faster, hands scrambling as I grabbed at the door handle. I flung the door open and looked out into the pitch darkness. I reached for my phone in my back pocket to call my mom, but it was dead. Also I knew she would be busy with my younger brother.

The crowd of people were now standing in the doorway, I heard their jeers echoing into the night sky. I sunk to the ground and sat there. My eyes were dry but my cheeks were wet. I heaved in and out but felt like there wasn’t enough air in the universe to fill my burning lungs.

The door slammed behind me, making me jump. A song all too familiar started to play, so loud that it shook the ground I was sitting on.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, rocking back and forth.

“They know,” I thought. “They know my secret. My life’s over. I can’t go back to school, not without being abandoned and called names.”

One of my classmates, Matthias who lived a couple houses down, ended up leaving early and asked if I wanted to stay the night at his house. I accepted and followed him home.  
He introduced me to his mom who took one look at me and sighed.  
“You poor thing. Kids these days are brutal aren’t they?”  
I nodded and watched as she walked into the kitchen and beconded us to follow her.  
“Here,” she gestured to the spiny bar stools at the kitchen counter. “Take a seat. Do you want some hot chocolate to help calm you down?”  
“Sure. Thank you.” I choked out, voice threatening to crack.  
“No problem honey. Any friend of Matthias is a son of mine.” She smiled as she slid a mug of hot chocolate to me. “Let me know how it is.”  
I cautiously took a sip and felt something cold touch my nose. My nose crinkled at the feeling and I wiped it off with the sleeve of my hoodie.

Once we were done drinking, Matthias pulled me to his room, chatting excitedly about how he could finally have someone to share a bunk bed with.  
He rummaged around in a drawer before throwing me a phone charger saying  
“I know it's dead. You should probably tell your mom where you are so she doesn’t get worried. I ended up charging my phone and telling my mom my current situation and she just sighed.  
“You blew it. You messed up. Have fun trying to fix that problem.” She hung up.  
I slept at Matthias’ house a lot that summer.

Junior year was full of being bullied and picked on. The only thing that stood out was the prom. I went with a group of people who thought that I should go because I “needed to go to prom for the _experience,_ ” Matthias and I ended up sitting in the corner sipping from red solo cups full of punch that may have burned going down and tasted kind of like cat pee smelled, but I ignored it.  
“Do you ever think that one days that’s gonna be you and your husband?” He gestured at Berwald and Tina, the other two people who came with us.  
We watched as they waltzed around, Tina’s hands laced around Berwald’s neck as they stared at each other and pressed their forehead together.  
“I don’t know, maybe if I can get out of the shitty town.”  
“That’s a big mood.” He sipped from his cup and sighed. “I wish I could get a partner.”  
“Agreed.”

Berwald and Tina were the school’s stereotypical nerd girl and himbo jock pairing. Every guy wanted to date Tina after Berwald and she got together and the same thing happened with the girls.  
Matthias looked over to me and laughed. “When she comes back here you should kiss her. See what happens.” He burped  
“No way dude. That’s a death sentence. Berwald will kill me!”  
“Nah, it's fine. Just ask her. She told me she’s cheating on him with Alfred so at this point she’s like a free range chicken ready to be collected.”

The song came to an end as Berwald and Tina separated from each other. Berwald walked to the refreshment table and Tina came over to me and Matthias.  
“Hey guys. I have a favor to ask of you. I need one of you to kiss me so that I can finally break up with Berwald.”  
“Why don’t you just break up with him without making a show out of it?” I asked  
“That’s not as fun. Come here Lukas.”  
She pulled me up by the collar of my shirt and pressed her lips against mine. I heard Berwald drop the glass he was holding and the glass shattered against the floor. He pulled Tina away and seemed to search her eyes for an answer.  
“Why? Why would you do that? I thought you loved me?”  
“Think again dumbass. Did it ever occur to you that I might have just used you for popularity? Did that thought ever run through your brain?”  
“No,” He looked to the ground and sighed “I guess that I never thought this would happen.”

That’s the last thing I remember before being pushed to the ground by an enraged Alfred, who had watched the whole thing from afar.  
“How dare you kiss her you fucking freak. That’s my girlfriend, you monster.”  
He pulled me up and punched me in the nose, over and over again, only stopping once I felt blood dripping onto my upper lip.  
Berwald on the other hand ended up being comforted by Matthias babbling about how he was heartbroken.  
That’s all that I remember from that night.

Now back to senior year. That’s where I was right now, sat in between Berwald and Matthias as they argued over a statistic for our science project.

  
“Maybe we should ask Lukas what he thinks. He seems to know a lot about this kind of stuff.”  
I looked up from my laptop to see both of them staring at me. “I think Berwald’s correct. His information was from a more recent study.”

“Cool. We’ll use your information then.”.

I listened as they bickered, wondering what it would be like to be sitting in Berwald’s lap.

“Hey Lukas, buddy, you’re blushing. Also class is over.” Matthias called

I snapped out of my daydream and slammed my laptop closed and stuffed it in my bag.

  
“Let’s go. I need to get to my next class.” I balance from foot to foot as Berwald and Matthias put away our project.”  
We left the classroom and walked until Berwald had to go down a different hallway then me and Matthias.

  
“Why were you blushing earlier, hmm? Who were you thinking about?”  
“None of your business.” I snapped at him.

As school ended I walked to my locker, longing to get home and go to sleep. A small green post-it note was attached to my locker. I picked it up and read;  
Hey, can we go to the local diner at like 6:30 -ish so that we can talk.Sorry if it’s sudden but there’s some stuff I need to get off of my chest. Also we can talk about our science project. Hope to see you there, Berwald.


End file.
